I never cry in public, let alone school. I’ve cried once in school. In all three years. Once.

I did today.

That’s how much I care about him.

And my friend just told me there were two girls. One of them used to be my really good friend. She also blew him.

I’m about to break down I really love him.

I’m just lying on a bench in the lunchroom at the table next to all my friends, including Mikey, listening to James Morrison trying not to cry.

I know I can’t really be that upset because I’ve talked about my hook ups with other people in front of him, but he’s the one who didn’t want something.

I’m the one who likes him. I’m just so upset.

I just want to throw up right now I can’t look at him

I didn’t care about anyone hooking up last night

but Mikey. I really thought he wouldn’t. I knew he’d get drunk and high but I didn’t think he’d get with any girls. He isn’t like that.

But he did. I don’t even know how I feel. My throat is closing up. My stomach kills. Everything’s spinning. I just want to cry right now.

My butt legitimately just fell asleep.

The pain. Holy shiiiit.

Yesterday was a good day…

Except for sitting with my 3 best guy friends talking for a period. 2 of which I got with. And the 3rd kept asking me who was better and they were talking about our hus. It was an awkward 40 minutes.

• I actually spoke to him finally. We haven’t spoken in person in weeks. And he said my name funnily like he used to when underclassmen were pushing me against lockers near his.

• Mikey came on my bus. The conversations on my bus are hysterical and I liked that he was part of them. But then the guy he was going to’s house kept trying to get me to let them come pick me up later so I can blow Mikey. That was awkward.

• Beautiful freshie I love heard me saying I love you to my friend. He says you tell him you love him and not me? So I said I love youu. And he said I love you too and gave me his gorgeous 4 trillion watt smile. That smile is the most beautiful thing in the world.

• Then he went to a party last night. All week he was trying to get me to go but I didn’t want to. But he was telling me how many girls he was gonna get with and how drunk he’s gonna get. But then when he got home he chatted me and told me he missed me and wished I was there and I got so happy and smiley and I can’t wait to hang out with him this weekend hopefully.

The only sucky part was they all went to the same party. I need to know which chicks I have to kill.

hakuna-mat-a-t-a:

remember the time shrek 2 ended with the best animated music number ever for no apparent reason